This weeks picture was of the ruins in Furness Abby, Cumbria. This sent children writing superb detailed descriptive work. Have a read and please leave a comment.
Libby Macaulay 10
This is not just an old wrecked building it’s a haunted wrecked building. its haunted by monks not the nice kind the bad kind this is the story of why they haunt it and why they are bad.
It started of in 1616 when a group of men became monks they weren’t the best monks they weren’t even religious they just pretended to be. They give them selves a name it was the r monks. There was a group of very good monks very popular monks every body loved them and they made fun of the new group of monks because they didn’t know any thing.
The r monks started to get fed-up and started spreading rumors about the other group. They spread rumors for months and months and the other group was getting laughed at by everybody else. The monks had enough and started a fight with the r monks.
Hannah Warne 10
As I silently crept through the misty rubble of the monastery a storm began to stir. The wind thrashing, snapping many tree’s in its way .I dived for shelter in the gloomiest part of the rubble. Oh what a wonderful sight, shelter.
A monk appeared out of nowhere then it evaporated into the mist. “Wait” I whispered .But to no avail he had gone! The storm grew impatient a swirling twister appeared .whilst I ran I heard an everlasting moan. “The monk” I thought. Then the monk spoke “head for the remaining monastery”. A huge rock tumbled in front of me crushing me.
Now I linger by my grave as a ghost my memories fatal and cruel. I morn of the day I lost my life to curiosity and adventure! My family mourn for me most of the time. That monk is lost forever, he had tried to save my life.
As they hid behind the castle wreck, they did not dare to look what was in front of them. Scared as ever they ran for their lives, before they could even look at the spirit haunting the village. Knowing that they would not live to tell the tale if they stopped running, In the ruins of the castle. They were screaming and crying but no one was there to help. But then suddenly a figure popped out with a hooded cloak on. He grabbed them and threw them in his car. They were asking so many questions, that they did not even know what was happening.
Me and my friend (Isabelle) went out in the woods, mucking about and finding different things to mess with. We were just making dens when we heard a big bang and another and another. Through the trees we ran, to have a peek what was going on. Finally the gigantic bundle of trees ended with a steep hill. Isabelle and I went tumbling down the slant landing in a pile of mud. I clambered up, quickly helping Isabelle up to stand. Our sight was amazing, magnificent should I say. The crumbling walls clattered on the ground meanwhile nature was taking over. We were gobsmacked at the sight of a building that could have been in good condition but instead left to rot away in the middle of nowhere. We staggered round the building eventually finding the doorway. We stared right into the dark black hole. We stepped forward …
Lillie H 10
I was looking around this old destroyed building I was waiting for my friend Isabelle to arrive. Where going to be explorers for the day, Isabelle eventually came we were walking very slowly, and carefully just to make sure we don’t go past any buried valuable treasure.
We were touching all of the walls and then suddenly Isabelle was walking around the other side of the wall and then I shouted HELP!! HELP!!!! . My leg was stuck fast, I couldn’t move!
Isabelle rushed around she was panicking her heart pounding with shock and she went to call for HELP!!! No-one heard her so she decided to pull, she pulled and pulled until eventually, I got out and then I said thanks.
Hannah A 10
Me and my friend Milly were going for a walk , we came to a big rusty dull gate I tried to push it open but it was locked and then I saw a women peek round the door of the house she looked familiar she came to the gate and said ‘’what do you want ’’she had a squeaky voice a shiver ran down my spine ‘’oh nothing sorry to bother you’’ I said and started to walk on and then I heard the lady say ‘’ why is this gate locked ‘’ and she opened it.so I crept back in and seen a wrecked house it started to get colder and colder and that women was there again laughing .My friend Milly said ‘’I’m not scared of you ‘’ she swung towards us aaaarrrr…
Joshua Newburn 10
One day there was a pair of little kids about 10 to a 11 year old kids exploring the champers of torturing they were call Jeff and Harold as they walked in they were really frightened in case they get a piece of sting tied around there neck because they saw people with a blue and purple face from hanging them selves.They found some tools like a sword ,knives and a stick with nails in the weapon to torture them for doing some thing really horrible or tried to assassinate some one like the king or queen they started walking around looking at the dead people on the wooden crate and strapped on the wooden crate with a metal circle and the put a rat in it and it starts to go into your ears , mouth or your hair and other unpleasant places on your body on purpose.
Ben Walkden 10
With my heart beating faster than lighting I strolled through the dark archway. I could sense something bad happening. I sprinted down the corridor and then finally, there was a window. I climbed out from the dark and dim building not looking down at my landing. I fell into a cave. I could hear my footsteps echo as I heard water dripping come closer and closer. I wanted to get out of the frightening cave but it was beckoning me to go further. I couldn’t resist so I began to investigate. Suddenly a shady figure appeared just a few feet away from me. I couldn’t tell whether or not it was human but one thing I realised was that if I turned and ran away I would get a chase so it must be better to face it now and get it over with. BANG! Went a sound from behind.
Oliver Neatis 11
As I watched my son walk slowly into the dark forest I wondered what I could of done that would save my life when I was where he was. The path was disappearing in every step I took; things were starting to get creepy. A storm grew, inky black eyes stared into his soul and in the distance, glowing red eyes flickered in the darkness a tiger had arrived.
He ran left with thorns scratching his face making him cry until he came to an old building, I could tell it was beckoning him in. He walked closer, closer to his doom, steel doors blocked his way, he could see the tiger coming towards him, he ran at them as hard as he could and the hinges screamed a deafening scream, he finally opened it after several moans from the door, when he got in no one saw him again.
Sam Facer 11
So here is a piece of my home the abbey it all started 200 hundred years ago I was born in to a catholic family it was pretty normal family we went to church every Sunday. My farther Eric Smith, worked on the local farm for money . one day he said we are sending you to an abbey this was a great thing at the time but when the day came to go I was petrified I’ve never been that far from home before as soon as we past the farmers home that would be the longest I’ve been from home .
We arrived in the cart just out side the abbey my farther was not coming in I was heartfelt I would never see him a gain me and him were pretty closes it was horrible so 50 years past and I died on the 15 of may 1690 I was in seventies.
I went for a drive with my mum and dad .Until we saw something, something strange, something rather old .We all stared at the field .Did any wane know about this place? Why was it their? what is it? the answer is know wane knows those questions. We all glared at the figure until my dad remembered some thing about king Henry v111.”king Henry v111 took this building from the monks know one knows why but he did the monks were rich that is why I think he stole all their things” said my dad. Suddenly I saw a wight glow it was a man in a robe and was carrying a bell for some reason he turned at us we cold tell he was a monk ghost he looked rather strange he looked at me with his cold dead eyes. Were was he going? What was he doing ? weal never know.
One night I went out on my skateboard all the way to a big skate-park but then I heard some crumbling in the rocks across the field I saw with my own eyes someone taking stone up from the ground and they were climbing down some kind of a tunnel or a hole so I told my friend to come with me and have a fun adventure. He said” no I’m not going to get myself killed” I said don’t be stupid you’re not going to die lets go. Ok let’s go my friend replied so me and my friend went to the castle looking thing so we had to climb threw a load of rocks and we climbed all the way to the place where the people climbed down so we both lifted the rock’s and then climbed down and we found mine carts filled with gold and iron.
Elliot D 11
My heart was beating wildly as I hid behind an old oak tree. I could see a dark misty figure in the old ruin it looked like a monk I was frightened 0what was he going to do? Was he going to hurt me? Between the ruin there was a horse and carriage it was mysterious but wicked. I took a step back and tripped over a huge rock that I did not see, it was not there before. “Was machst du hier? I couldn’t tell what he was saying so his friend in the horse carriage to translate. He said “He is German, and he said what are you doing here? He came up to me I was frightened, He told me to scram and get of his land I know what he was saying because the man in the carriage translated it to me. I did so.
Cory Tucker 10
One day there was a ice cream van in a field so I decided to go and get one with a flake. When I walked off I saw a old rotten, disgusting building in the distance so I decided to go and have a look what was in there. When I got in there I saw two kids messing around so I told them to get out and they ran off so I started walking around the building to see if I can find anything. When I went into the next room I saw some money in a bag so I walked further in to the building to see if I could find any other good stuff. I I kept walking then I saw some skulls at the end of the building and very old clothes then I saw some legs and some more skulls in the corner then I found some very bright gold treasure.
Poppy jai Muir 10
This is not just an old wrecked building this is a story in itself. I found this enchanted place when I was practicing for the big marathon. The big marathon is on every year I have run the marathon 5 times I’ve done it since I was ten I’m now fifteen. I like to practice on different surfaces like one day id jog on cobble and one day on mud. This just helps because there not always in the same place. I found this place while practicing on a muddy surface. You see those trees on the left? I was just behind them when I spotted it. As soon as I spotted it I leapt towards it. When I got to the front of the wreck I decided to climb in to the window and then suddenly…
I stumbled to a clearing and before my eyes appeared an abandoned castle. It had an eerie feeling about it. As I stepped forward the leaves crunched beneath my feet. The wind whistled through my ears as I touched the mossy walls of the building .I peered through the window and couldn’t believe my eyes a dark figure strolled across the room. I felt a force pull me to the ground my heart was pounding. I felt like I was being watched, I didn’t dare to open my eyes for if someone was staring at me. I lay there in silence waiting until I heard a loud scream it sent a chill up my spine I finally found the courage to open my eyes. I screamed as I found a black figure standing over me.
Eve Charlotte Budden 10
As I walked down the lane I could smell the soggy smell of rain I had to be careful that I didn’t slip. I sore a building I thought it was a castle. Suddenly I heard a voice “ha ha ha.” It was coming from behind the wrecked building. I said “hello.” Then one of the bricks moved and I ran back up the lane a slipped on the gooey moss and grazed my knee. Suddenly a shadowy figure darted to me I tried to scramble back up the lane but I couldn’t it was too painful. It came closer and whispered “I’m the ghost of the Abby.” Suddenly my mum shouted me for tea and the ghost disappeared. I went home.
Tyler Bolton 10
Five weeks ago I was playing out with Billy at the old church. We saw something in the trees.
Me and Billy wanted to follow it like an idiot. But as soon as he saw me and Billy it ran at us. Me and
Me and billy ran and ran we couldn’t work out what it was but we knew it was very scary.
We found a little old house in the woods. We ran into the little house in the woods I locked the door.
I am writing this letter so you might be able to call the police or something please help us.
Nathan Johnson 10
It was a cold day, I was playing with my friends. We were playing hide and seek. I jumped though a window from part of the old and broken abbey. I was hidden in a corner but I fell down a hole. I found a cave with skeletons in it. I conveniently had a torch so I had a look around. I was calling out to see if anyone was there. I found a chest so I opened it . It was shining bright and it was filled with diamonds and gold. I called my friends and they through down a rope. We pulled the treasure and lived a rich life.
Ethan Lee Nicolson 10
Dear diary today I saw a ruined building being dug up I look at what they were digging up I saw a skull and I was terrified I ran home and I hide under my covers . I got my laptop and started to research so I asked my mum what the building was called she said it was called St George’s church there was a rumor about a priest buried alive under the floor . WAS IT HIS SKULL!?
Calum Macpherson 11
dear diary I saw a rewind building that was built in the olden days called the Furness building and it was built 1235 and destroyed in the 1576. It was well known as the church whit a priest got buried in a priest whole when the soldiers knocked on the door or they would block them in for forever and out side a stick with spick on the end the priests head but if they hidden that would not happen.
I walked up the Abbey but I was terrified shocked, horrified and scared. I’m feeling weird, my vision goes swirling. I faint on the ground into a strange nightmare and a new world ‘were on earth am I’! I shouted. ‘why can’t I wake up’!
I walked around my dream house but I wish I never came because I can never leave I’m trapped to die I thought. Why me not a bank robber I screamed for help I never saw the light after that day I live with ghost’s will I die?Bang ! The house fell with a crash I thought it couldn’t get any worse.Did I die can I live I saw Shrek yes I’m dead what will happen next…
Savannah Rose Sharp 11
As I walked through the forest it was dark and spooky, the bare branches scratched my face. As I walk to the top I saw an old castle. I walked into it.It was very old and felt as if it was going to fall dawn. When I was walking and it felt like walking in a maze. I finally got to the middle, and something blown into my face it was like it was glowing.
Something or someone pushed me into it.I banged my head and it took me a while to get back to normal I picked it up and it was lot of lot of gold I giggled but I didn’t know what to do with it. I hear a little voice echo in the back ground then I saw a shadow come forward. “do you want some money?” And we were the best of friend forever.
Lochlan Gosling 10
One day when I was walking to my friend’s house.I was getting tired so I tuck a short cut through the woods and I soon discovered a small house that looked like it had been left for a long time. I walked up to it and then I heard a small crackle in the back ground so I got closer and closer and closer. Then a small gremlin like man that shouted at me to go away but I was so star struck that I ignored him. He started getting angry so I tried walking off but he grabbed me and said “actually stay and you can be my servant for the rest of your life”. I tried to run off but he stabbed some kind of weird medicine that made me instantly fall to sleep. When I woke up I knew I was going to be here for a long time.
Dolcie Rowling 7
A long time ago there lived a poor King who lived in a tiny castle. He lived alone even though he was a King. One day he found a sack of money he used to repair his house and get servants. They did not call the poor King poor any more they called him the rich King. Now his castle had one hundred doors, seven hundred windows and seven hundred rooms. He decided to look in his money room one day but all his money had gone. He looked in a bedroom it looked nice but a little girl was going crazy in there. She wasn’t doing anything wrong so the King became her friend. She dreamed of being the Princess of the castle.
Harvey Kemp 7
One day there was a mad scientist, he made a potion that was meant to turn him invincible but it turned him into a horrible ‘Grim Reaper’ and since then anyone who enters get haunted for the rest of their lives…
One day a seventeen year old boy came to the haunted house. As he walked in with his dog he heard a loud scream, the teenager followed the sounds of screams. The closer he got the more screams he could hear…Suddenly he heard voices of the people who entered before him. They said “Go back! run while you can!!”
The teenager was terrified but he continued…
Melanie Grace stood at the edge of the forest, looking at the remains of her Great Granddads chapel. It was the year 1932 and three years ago, her Granddad’s building was set fire to by someone the police couldn’t track down, killing 32 people inside including her Great Granddad. A sudden flash of lightning occurred and there stood a woman wearing a black gown and had long black hair. Melanie thought this was the woman that had set fire to the chapel, so she ran out and hid inside the spooky church. In almost seconds, the woman had gone, but a fire was spreading quickly through the chapel. She didn’t say a word, for she was ready to join her Great Granddad, away from her life altogether…
Only two adult entries this week, I think the children’s quality of work is scaring you off! #getwriting adults!!!
“Simon! Where are you?” called Maria,
“In here. Come and see what I’ve found.”
Maria walked round the end of the church to the archway that had once housed the door. In the nave looking at something small and black, stood her brother.
“What is it?” asked Maria warily.
“I’m not sure. Looks like a chess piece. Could be a bishop, but it’s more like a monk.”
“Where did you find it?” said Maria moving closer.
“It was behind that stone, hidden in the wall.”
Maria looked down and saw a small, dressed stone lying on the floor beneath a black gaping hole.
“I was climbing the wall to call you through the window dislodged it. I tried to push it back but it jammed on something. When I looked again I saw this figure.”
Maria looked at it and shivered.
“I don’t like it. It gives me the creeps.”
Fatigue made me stop. Nothing else. I was hungry; hadn’t eaten for days. I wasn’t thirsty … it’d been raining and I was wet through. The old church still had a roof and I couldn’t take another step. I don’t like religion, don’t believe in god but I didn’t think a derelict building would mind. I was wrong about that. And when I crawled into an anteroom to shelter from the rain, I thought nothing could harm me. I was wrong about that too.
It was the bell that woke me, booming, dragging me out of sleep in the dark. Then it stopped. I could hear voices, feet shuffling. A door, that wasn’t there when I went to sleep, creaked open. A figure in a robe, holding a candle, stood in the doorway.
‘It’s time for the funeral,’ said a wisp of a voice.
‘Funeral?’ I croaked, uncertain. Looking down in confusion, I saw I was wearing a robe too.
‘What do you mean?’ I asked. ‘Whose funeral?’
‘Why yours, of course,’ came the reply.